Case Closed: Pastor Says Fidget Spinners Are One Of The Many Tools Of Devil

Stop me when you’ve heard this one before; toy created to help people focus better and concentrate on tasks for longer periods of time is actually an instrument of Satan and is using children to make the sign of the devil to usher in Satan’s army which will lead to the damnation of the human race. It’s a tale as old as time or at least as old as when Eve decided it was in her best interest to listen to the sweet nothings of a snake. Maybe I’m rusty on my bible verses/gospel but I don’t recall there ever being a portion in Revelations or any other part of the the good book about humanity opening the door to hell and letting in Lucifer and all friends due to a 3rd grader making a hook em horns gesture. I feel like the devil has had ample opportunities to unleash the gates of hell in the past. He or she could have used people who commonly threw up the obviously sinister greeting at Ozzy concerts, Texas football games or those who showed their allegiance for the NWO Wolf Pack. But admittedly, I have never tried to plan a strategy to conquer the souls of earth so perhaps I’m way off base to disagree with this pastor.

But maybe just maybe a̶d̶u̶l̶t̶s̶  only kids using these toys isn’t what’s going to lead to the creator of original sin climbing out of the bottomless pit to wreak havoc on us. Maybe kids will continue to use these spinners for a few short while longer due to many schools banning them from the school grounds or mainly because something else will come along in the next few months that will take all the attention off of fidget spinners and the world will continue to act and behave like it normally does, which is to say it’s going to keep on keepin on. Or, this pastor is right and we’re going to be burning for all of eternity. It has to be one or the other.

Also, I love how he called “anti stress” a game. I think that’s very smart to do. Can’t wait to go out on Friday for happy hour and just tell everyone I’m playing the game Anti Stress

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