I’m Putting A Hit Out On Bigfoot For Scaring Rob Lowe

ABC News Rob Lowe says he thought he was going to be killed during an encounter with a Bigfoot creature while filming his new A&E docuseries.
Lowe tells Entertainment Weekly the encounter took place in the Ozark Mountains, which stretch between Arkansas, Missouri and Oklahoma.
Lowe says he and his sons were camping there to investigate a Bigfoot-like creature known to locals as a “wood ape” during a shoot for “The Lowe Files” when something began to approach their camp. Lowe says he was lying on the ground thinking he was going to be killed.
He adds that he’s “fully aware” the story makes him sound like “a crazy, Hollywood kook.”
“The Lowe Files” follows the actor and sons Matthew and John Owen as they explore mysterious phenomena across the country.

I couldn’t care less what Bigfoot, Yettie or Sasquatch do in their spare time. If they want to go and terrorize people in the woods, go for it. If you want to mess with people by making weird noises or take grainy barely recognizable pictures so folks can show others and say “see, this terrible photo I took proves he’s real”, be my guest. But when you turn your attention to the stars and put the fear of God into him when all they were doing was trying to meet you, that’s where I put my foot down and say anyone that kills this maniac and all around bad person/neanderthal/cromagdon/ whatever he is will get a case Genny Cream Ale. The nerve of a̶n̶y̶ ̶n̶u̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶a̶n̶i̶m̶a̶l̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶l̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶e̶s̶t̶ you trying to gain access to the Lowe compound. Baffling. I know there are probably tons of rewards out there and that the amount of money and publicity for bagging a Bigfoot will be off the charts. But if you bring him to me ALIVE, you’ll get that delicious case of Cream Ale. Yes I want you to bring him to me alive. First I’ll kill him, then I’ll go to work on him. Teach him some manners type stuff.

At the very least why couldn’t of you picked someone no one would miss? Why couldn’t you go an eat Carlos Mencia or something? Why Rob Lowe? Have you seen the guy? He’s been just about the most handsome guy on earth for about the last 35 years.

PS- This guy just isn’t good…. He’s really good

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