Beer Fest People Are Infinity Times Better Than Wine Fest People

Let it be known that I’ve been to several beer fests in my time and I’ve also been a resident of earth for near 31 years, so I know a little something about how one should and shouldn’t act when it comes to festivals in public with strangers. I know that sounds a bit elitist and hypocritical based on the rest of this blog, but I don’t think it’s that’s crazy that a person thinks they’re a decent human being. Self-awareness folks, look into it.

This past weekend I attended the Finger Lakes Wine Fest at Watkins Glen Speedway and I enjoyed a few days of quality camping in the world’s greatest tent, a toga party, enough weird dogs(different , zany flavors of hotdogs) to the point where my organs melted into each other to form one super organ that will either protect me against all types of substances or will revolt and kill me. But the worst part of the time at Watkins Glen was dealing with the people at the actual wine fest.

Beer fests work fairly simply. You go in, get your glass and then you wait in line until it’s your turn to get your sample from the vendor. Then after you get your sample, you get out of line and go of to the side or behind everyone to enjoy what you earned. I know that’s a wild and progressive idea but give it a try. You might like it. Then it’s the next lucky soul to get experience nirvana. At a wine fest, it goes like this. You go in, get your glass wait and line. Annnnnnnd that’s it. You just wait there because the people in front of you just stand there and not leave the line when they get a sample. They camp out. What they exactly do is stay in the front of the line until they sample every bottle that the vendor brought. Sometimes that could be up to 15 bottles. So you’re just standing there like a big moron patiently waiting your turn. But there’s a move that big wine folk will display if they find themselves in such a situation. What they’ll do is that they will bum rush the front of the line and extend their arm over a person’s face/shoulder with their glass in hand looking to get served. I was in line waiting my turn, minding my own business when no less than 60 arms got thrown over my body. I didn’t like it. There was another time I was waiting in line and another person told me to just put my arm through all the people and I said no, that’s rude. When I told that person that they just about started shutting down like they were a broken hologram.

Now there is one acceptable reason why people might be standing in front of a line at wine fest and that’s to buy a bottle of wine. But there’s only about 1% of the people there who actually buy bottles of wine so chances are they’re camping out there.

I kept telling people that if the soup nazi was running things he not just would of banned you for 1 year for screwing up his line, but he would in fact destroy and massacre everyone.

I know that many people think people who get real in depth with craft beer are beer snobs and at times that is very true. But going to around 15 or more beer festivals, I’ve never seen people act like this with not having any decency towards other people. Total mind blower of an ordeal. There weren’t vendors saying cheers to you after they topped you off, no minute long chats with the people about what wines or which were the ones you had to try, which is nothing like a beer fest. At a beer fest you get a much stronger sense of comradery amongst the folks there. At a beer fest you don’t many people there but you know them. You know that they’ll help you out if you need to get redirected to the restroom or if you need to know if Shorts Brewery is still pouring. I just don’t get the sense of community with the wine people.

I don’t think me looking for a bit of etiquette when I’m in public is an outrageous thing to expect. But perhaps that’s just what the wine culture is about. To that, I say you’re the worst of the worst. Get better.

PS- I can’t wait to go back next year. Such a fun weekend.

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