You Can Stop Now: Someone Else Broke The Record For Sticking The Most Straws In Their Mouth

If you were looking for a world record to go out and break, I’d stay away from my boy Manoj. Take a look at the picture of him with his hands in the air. Those are the eyes of a man who’s not here to play games. He’s here to stick straws in his mouth, a lot of them, 459 to be exact. This is a man who understood that he has a gift and that gift is to stick more straws into his mouth than any other person that has ever lived and I dare you to try and out-mouth-straw him. That’s a fools game. You might as well go and try and break the record for longest nails or see what you could do with being the person who could stick their eyeballs out their head the farthest. Whatever it is, get out of the straw in mouth game because that’s locked up for the next few decades.

I bet Manoj doesn’t have to buy a drink wherever he goes in the town Odishia and the women are just lining up just so that they can get the opportunity to be with him. Probably no bigger honor than being a world record holder in Odishia. It’s like a championship winning athlete when they walk into the bar, they never buy their own drinks. It’s always on the bar. Like they’re thrilled just to have them in there that they won’t stand for it for championship wining athlete to pay for their food or drink. Their money isn’t good their. At least that’s what I’ve learned from movies so I guess it has to be true.

I’m really not sure how you find out you can do this. I guess you’re watching the Mummy, the one with Brendan Frasier, and you see all those mummies who extend their mouth like 2 feet and you think to yourself “I can do that.” Then you start small with objects like pint glasses and Gatorade bottles. Wipe the floor with those and move on to different sizes of plates. Go through all that then muster up enough to courage to start going after crazy amounts of bounded straws. I think that’s how you do it. Pretty sure I just created an instructional video to teach people to stick unnecessary large objects in their mouths. Lotta money in that from a wide amount of professions.

Must be something to be a Guinness World Record employee. One day your in the states getting the measurement for the biggest gallbladder and then out of no where your boss calls you up and says you gotta get on the next flight to India to watch a guy stick 459 straws in his mouth. Not sure if that’s awesome or the type of thing that automatically leads to nervous breakdown.

PS- Shout out to the cast of Hey Arnold for still holding the record for most attempts to try and get into the Guinness Book Of World Records. You showed everyone that persistence can be beautiful



This entry was posted in Surnn. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s