I’m Shocked That Jerry Jones Didn’t Literally Explode Last Night

Thanksgiving has come and gone but the rage that Jerry Jones has is only growing and intensifying by the second. First, his RB Zeke Elliott gets suspended and reinstated, due to a domestic violence claim, no less than 400 times this season and when the suspensions finally holds up Jerry wages war on Roger Goodell to the point where he’s trying to get his owner buddies to have Goodell essentially fired and if they don’t then he’s going to sue the league. Then it comes out a few days ago that the league is very close in giving Goodell a contract extension. His team has lost 3 straight games since losing Zeke being outscored 91-22, which isn’t good. Then his team plays the Thankgiving game yesterday only to get housed in Jerry’s house to the not so mighty Chargers while America tries not to fall asleep on Grandma’s couch. I swear when they kept showing Jerry in his suite I thought he was going to be stomping a mud hole in Chris Christie then throw him through the suite window only to start taking out Cowboys’ players with an old, beatup rifle, which I’m sure would of been very very legal.

It’s being reported that Jerry spoke to the team after the game to let them know that he still supports them, which I suppose is the right thing to do. But, it had to be the same kind of feeling that a dad gets when he has to tell his terribly unathletic son that he still loves him even though the world knows I̶  he can’t guard anyone and possess  zero skills that could help out the team or anyone.

SLIGHT SIDE NOTE: Lets not dump all over Prescott yet. Yes he’s been awful since Zeke has been gone but if you thought he was going to things rolling with the list of offensive players he has around him you’re nuts. They are a flawed team offensively with no real playmakers. Yes Dez is finished in Dallas and will go somewhere else and will I’ll even say will have a small resurgence because that’s how sports works. Witten, though still doing his thing, is the slowest human on Earth. Dak is a QB that can’t and will never surgically pick you apart like the top QBs in the league. He needs play-action to be successful. So when his number 1 reason isn’t around to make the windows bigger with linebackers jumping up, this is is what you get. You get defenses waiting for him to come to them. Dallas will get talent on the outside to compliment Zeke and Dak and they will be fine. The 0-line is still good enough and signed with them long enough that they can make runs for the next 2 years.

Insert Jerry Jones name here

It does seem to be raining shit on Joe Cooper right now.

PS- I need Ed Werder to come on tv to tell me that there’s trouble in Big D and I need it yesterday.



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