In The Most Predictable News Ever James Harrison Signs With The Patriots

Well, we all got the update on our phones while we were doing fun things on our Christmas break like command the 1-2 No Limit Holdem table at Mohegan Sun and all of us did and said the same exact thing: shrugged our shoulders and said “well of course Harrison was going to sign with New England.” Sure as shoot, that’s exactly what happened.

Pittsburgh released Harrison on Saturday and Tomlin went with the old this gives us the best chance to win and they needed to activate Marcus Gilbert. Gilbert is a player I’ve never heard of. Maybe he’s really good and will go out and take over a game or give sufficient depth on special teams. I couldn’t tell you. What I do know is that there are few people on this Earth that are more intimidating than James Harrison. I don’t care if he’s slower than dead people, Harrison is an absolute killer on the field and off of it. I have no doubt that he’s taken out a few choice souls during his run on this planet.

It sucks that we have to go through this every time a noteworthy player gets released and automatically assume the Patriots are going to pick them up and that guy will dominate. Many times this happens and the player ends being a nothing guy on their team. See Ochocinco, Michael Floyd, Albert Haynesworth and newly signed Kenny Britt. But they also have signed guys like Moss, Welker, Martellus Bennett(the first time, not the 2nd time), Corey Dillon and Revis. There’s more players out there on both sides but the point is we all think every player will end up with the Patriots. Sucks but when you’re in the Super Bowl or the game before the Super Bowl seemingly every year, you’re going to attract talented players that will give into the Patriot way for one last chance at a ring and to also show everyone that you still got game.

I don’t know if Harrison will be able to provide much more than a few snaps here and there. I also doubt that he has any trade secrets regarding how the Steelers do business that will help New England not like they need it since they generally have no problem beating the Steelers whenever they play them. But I also won’t be surprised if Harrison takes over a game and knocks LeVeon Bell or someone else into the next century with one old schooled, Jacked Up style hit. Regardless of what happens, get ready to hear about Larry Fitzgerald and any other oldish player headed to New England in the offseason.

Here’s some obligatory clips of James Harrison killing people in public mainly the entire the Cleveland Browns franchise


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