Meet The Dirtiest Player In The Game…. In Ultramarathom Running

Oddity Central Ultrarunner Kelly Agnew, 45, has been disgraced and stripped of his titles after an investigation by event officials revealed that he had hidden inside porta-pottys to win races.Agnew had one the last four 48-hour Across the Years ultramarathons since 2014, when he was the first to run 201.5 miles within the allotted time, but event officials have disqualified and banned him from all future races for cheating. According to a Facebook post by event organizers, Agnew was seen “registering laps without running the complete loop of the course,” instead hiding inside a port-a-potty for seven minutes before getting out to cross the start/finish mat. The experienced runner would apparently time his breaks in the toilet to keep his mile pace consistent.Across the Years officials became suspicious of Agnew after he won the 2015 48-hour ultramarathon by more than 55 miles, despite the fact that he had stopped running after 41 hours, 7 before the race ended. This year, they hired Mark Melton, of MCM timing, to track Agnew during the multi-day looped course in Phoenix and found that he was not a superhuman runner at all, he was just really good at cheating.“He was witnessed circling back at the start/finish staging area after completing a lap, spending over 7 minutes in a portable restroom and then ‘completing’ the lap and going on for his next without actually running the mile plus loop,”organizers wrote in the Facebook post.Event officials took immediate action by approaching Agnew and telling him to turn in his racing bib. They then announced that they were rescinding his titles from the four other races where he missed specific check-in points and banned him from all future events.“It saddens us to see this take place at an event that is centered around camaraderie among runners and support of top performances,” the Facebook post stated. “This type of cheating is not tolerated by our race or race organization. At this point in time, Kelly will not be welcome back to participate in races organized by Aravaipa Running. We would now like to take this time to recognize the new podium placings of our past events.”

Wild times in the world of ultramarathon running. A world you had no idea existed. It seems we have a scandal that might be they straw that makes the world of ultramarathon running finally fold up their tent. In a very Lance Armstrong like move, their reigning, defending, undisputed champion Kelly Agnew has been duping the competition by hiding in porta johns instead of running the entire race. Obviously, this is something that goes against many of the league’s bylaws. So Agnew has been stripped of all his medals, championships and whatever else you get when you win a race only 13 people in the world want to do. My favorite part about the whole thing is how they gained suspicion that perhaps Agnew wasn’t being entirely honest about how fast he was running.

Across the Years officials became suspicious of Agnew after he won the 2015 48-hour ultramarathon by more than 55 miles, despite the fact that he had stopped running after 41 hours, 7 before the race ended.

An absolute genius group of race officials realized that a human being finishing a quarter of the race(55 miles) faster than everyone else was a bit strange. Well it takes more than that to fool the officials of ultramarathon running so they devised a impeccable way to catch this scofflaw

This year, they hired Mark Melton, of MCM timing, to track Agnew during the multi-day looped course in Phoenix and found that he was not a superhuman runner at all, he was just really good at cheating.

Must of took them weeks to figure out that following him was a can’t miss way to catch Agnew in the act of hiding in a porta potty. Ultramarathon officials are like the Mounties where they always get their man so it was just a matter of time that the long arm of the law of ultramarathon running came looking for Agnew.

I really can’t blame Agnew for not wanting to run the entire race. 201 miles is a ton of miles, so if you can spend less time running and more time sitting on the crapper go ahead and do it. Not his fault that he’s smarter than the rest of the field. He’s just ahead of the curve. When you have such a target on your back and everyone wants to be you, you gotta do everything you need to do to stay on top. Kind of like another Stallworth who was the greatest dirtiest player in the game who would win at all cost. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

@2ndSatSports

 

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