Reshad Jones Casually Breaks A World Record At The Pro Bowl

Imagine being that much of an athletic freak that you could just go ahead and break a Guinness World Record whenever you please. Must be really somethin to go ahead and do something no human being has ever done and then be only mildly pleased that you even did it. That’s exactly how Reshad Jones was after being told he’s the world record holder of the longest pass ever thrown and caught to oneself. It’s almost like he couldn’t care less that he’s in the Guinness Book of World Records. He probably has no idea that he gets to have his name and record along side people like Linsey Lindberg who of course holds the record for most apples crushed by a bicep and Gary Turner who has the stretchiest skin not to mention he gets to be in one of the number 1 books that kids want to take out of their school library. Whoever got their hands on the latest Guinness World Record book was the most popular kid in class. So I’m sure Reshad just doesn’t realize how big of a deal this really is. He will eventually.

I’m glad that this world record moment should easily be the most important thing to happen out of the worthless Pro Bowl. Honestly, I’d much rather watch all the players selected to the Pro Bowl just spend 3 hours trying to break world records instead of fake playing a football game. I really don’t think it’s much of a stretch to believe that the majority of of people would rather that as well. I’ll see if I can whip up a proposal for such a thing and present it to Goodell later this year. Should be an easy pitch.

PS- I have to call shenanigans on this record however because not only do we know who holds the record for farthest pass to himself but we have video of it. RIP Mr. Perfect


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