Reverse Psychology: God Tells Florida Man To Burn Down Two Churches

Miami Herald A Florida man burned two churches in Seminole in early February. Detectives from the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office say Brody Allen Seiger told them he “set the fires for God.” That won’t win Seiger any points down here. Pinellas deputies arrested Seiger, 33, on Tuesday after interviewing him. They charged Seiger with two counts of arson in the first degree on public buildings for the fires on Feb. 3 and 4 in the St. Petersburg suburb. According to Pinellas detectives, police responded to fires at the Seminole United Methodist Church and the Universal Harmony Church in Seminole. On Feb. 7, Pinellas deputies in the Arson and Auto Theft Unit posted surveillance video on its Facebook page that showed a man, dressed in blue, walking just before midnight on Feb. 3 on Seminole Boulevard in the vicinity of the churches. They said he was a suspect and asked for the public’s help to identify him. The man in the video turns to face the camera at one point. The video has been viewed more than 3,700 times. “A pretty decent picture, too. Someone will recognize him,” someone posted in the thread. Someone did. Cops received a tip that identified the suspect as Seiger. On Tuesday, they interviewed the suspect who admitted setting the fires “for God,” detectives said. Deputies then described how the fires were set. According to the police report, Seiger allegedly broke a window at the Universal Harmony Church during the late night hours of Feb. 3, by lighting a door mat on fire and pushing it through the broken window of the church. About an hour later, on Feb. 4, police say Seiger broke a window at the Seminole United Methodist Church, poured gasoline through the window and ignited the fuel. The fires caused minor damage, police say. Seiger is being held at Pinellas County Jail on $50,000 bond on each charge.

Florida is gonna Florida amiright? Well, right off the bat we can conclude that God works in mysterious ways. Take a few stories that were put on my desk here at SecondSaturday HQ in recent weeks like the guy who let Jesus take over the wheel and flipped his car 5 times to the c̶u̶l̶t̶ church near me that had a completely reasonable ceremony where they let people bring in their AR 15s to get blessed. Seems perfectly understandable that one of the best ways to appease the Lord and show that you’re devout to him is to burn down to of houses. Maybe in heaven burning down someone’s house is the ultimate sign of respect? I don’t know. I’ve never been to Heaven. What I do enjoy is the video of the guy glaring back at the camera that he most definitely scouted out before he conducted his mission to honor God. We’re talking about a sharp individual here who always covers his tracks.

This dude named Seiger said he did all this to “set the fired for God.” Who am I to say that isn’t true. Not to flex my theology brain here but I’m pretty sure God spoke to Moses in a similar fashion. After Moses spoke to the burning bush, the 10 commandments were created. Who’s to say that Seiger here after he lit the fires wasn’t told a whole new set of rules that Mankind needs to follow to gain access to the Kingdom of Heaven? Lotta unanswered question here. What has been answered is that this guy is very much looking forward to the new Deadpool movie that features Cable. Based on this guys mugshot, it’s apparent that he’s all about the rugged mutant time traveler.

Hope this guy gets let out of jail soon enough so he can fulfill his destiny of watching Cable bring the house down. Gonna be a great movie


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